‘Your Daughter needs to come back when she’s ready to start a family.”
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I’m sat in the doctor’s office, a box of wafer thin tissues and a shabby poster of the female anatomy to my right, my father to my left.
Id begged Pappa H to take me to clinic due to irregular periods, whilst my school friends moaned and skipped PE every month without fail,n i had nothing to contribute to the group.
Not a cramp, sanitary towel or pimple in sight.. and oddly i was slightly disappointed. I know what you’re thinking ‘Where is her Mother in all of this?!’
Well seeing as my Mother did a run quicker than you can say Ussain Bolt from the family home just aged 7,i had no choice.
Explaining the birds and the bees,first boyfriends & the menstrual cycle, Pappa had no choice either, I saw nothing wrong with it, it was just a fact of life that we had to get on with, and this is what brought us to be sat here with an unconcerned professional.
Holy macaroni, i wasn’t planning a family, i could barely look after my Tamagotchi goldfish ‘Bubbles’ never mind raise a child, but somehow that single comment angered me it angered me that i wasn’t a screaming hormonal acne riddled teenager.
I wanted what my friends had, and no medical professional could give me any magic little pill that would gain me access to conversations in the school playground with the rest of my female friends, in fact it wasn’t until i was 18 that i discovered i suffered from PCOS*
Along with a new found love for make-up, alcohol, the opposite sex, and of course the disposal of my fake I.D (Hurrah!) ..I also gained a new found knowledge of
- Absent periods
- Extreme tiredness/lack of energy
- Hirsutism – Excess body hair – All hail mother nature (!)
And the one that mattered the most yet didn’t sink in until later on in my life –
- INFERTILITY due to lack of ovulation.
These little cysts that littered my ovaries were most certainly not welcome,i wanted rid and i wanted rid now.
Little did i know my first appointment at the Women’s health clinic was the start of my lifelong journey to motherhood, from advice to losing weight – “eat an apple“.. (i kid you not!) to “Have sex more often and relax“
Now one thing that annoys me is them 5 little words,them 5 little words that flow so freely from the mouths of others,
“JUST RELAX AND IT WILL HAPPEN”
RELAX? What do you think I’m doing in the bedroom department?! i knew i wasn’t the most experienced sexually active teenager but if it has happened to my hairdressers friends cousins niece, then it would surely work for me right? (!)
Im sure you have worked it out by now, it didn’t work, if only life was that simple. However i do thank my lucky stars i didn’t work, because i often wonder what my life would be like with a Walton like family in tow. Would I still be able to jet off to Ibiza on a whim? Would i be able to sit in my PJ’s and eat chocolates for breakfast at 3pm on a sunday? (reaching for the selection box as we speak) , would i be able to share my experience with the rest of the world about my sorrows, my highs and my dysfunctional life at 3am when i can’t sleep?
Id trade in all in within a heartbeat if i could, minus the chocolates, our newly formed family could sit watching movies with a box of Thorntons Finest by our side, but i soon learnt that the chocolates and alcohol had to stop, and quickly, because before i knew it, i had hopped onto the rollercoaster of Assisted Conception to find that egg, and boy what a ride its been.
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